Mea Culpa?

Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that translates into English as “my mistake” or “my fault”. To emphasize the message, the adjective “maxima” may be inserted, resulting in “mea maxima culpa,” which would translate as “my most [grievous] fault.”

I returned home this afternoon to two emails – one was…frosty, the other sounded pretty darn mad. And honestly, my heart hit my stomach with a thud because both were commenting on today’s post, Spitting Mad Mama Llama.

One of the things I have dreaded most about putting my thoughts out into the blogosphere had come to pass. And while inevitable, I still have a knot in my tummy as I write this, because I truly hate the thought that I have offended someone. And not just because if they are offended they will quit reading, but also because the two who responded are really nice people, and I truly did not mean any offense.

I also feel I have been misunderstood, and that makes it hard for me to simply apologize, profusely and deeply, when the intent was not to create bad feelings or make some feel that they were under attack.

And no LH, I don’t think I’m particularly funny, except when I’m poking fun at myself, which I was when I wrote the post at 4a.m. the other morning, sleep-deprived and obviously incapable of following the clear instructions on the homeschool website. I was laughing at myself, strange as that seems, because I KNEW I was missing something.

So here’s the rub, I get it, I really, really do. I won’t launch into a laundry list of what I do every day to prove the point that LH made in her comment, other than to say I get that everyone has their hands full with life and the co-op. And I do understand what goes into it, maybe not the co-op exactly, but I certainly do plenty of work gratis, with little or no hope it will ever pay me for my time. This blog is one such example, the book that took me 17 years to write is another.

I hear stuff, complaints, thoughts, and I’m not going to throw any more people under the bus by going any further with this, because those who told me aren’t doing anything to fix it either. And if you aren’t going to fix it, you should stop complaining, right? Which is precisely why I am now going to shut up, because I’m in no position to fix it, I don’t think it really needs fixing, its just a basic learning curve, nor would I have the time or inclination.

I’m going to shut up right after this…

LH and CW, I apologize. I did not mean to offend you, to degrade or belittle your efforts, or to sound “pompous, rude or judgmental.” My attempt to poke fun at myself (for not figuring it out) and to advise those thinking of beginning a co-op (and hopefully bringing light to the complex task) was quite obviously a failure. And for that I am very sorry.

And there you have it. Mea maxima culpa? Call it what you will, I’m walking away from the computer now.

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2 Responses to Mea Culpa?

  1. Lara hampton says:

    Thanks. That was a very generous apology. FTR, I think it was the “this coop system sucks ass” that threw me over the edge. 🙂

    • Christine says:

      Thanks, Lara. It really did have me in knots all weekend. Have also made note to never, EVER post ANYTHING on Day 21 of my cycle. It is an…inopportune…day. Really, I think that my own family should often be sent away on this day for their own safety. I’m calling it my Writing Free, Hide in My Hole, LEAVE ME ALONE! Day from now on.