Learning From Art…Re-Creating A Vision of Myself

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My pen glides on the paper, practicing loops, curves, details. After more than a month, it is easier, more assured, less jittery.

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My husband tells me, “That’s art you are creating. You know that, right?”

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I nod and try to convince myself. Mainly though, it just feels like magic.

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On Tuesday I borrowed a book from the library, 20 Ways to Draw a Tree and 44 Other Nifty Things from Nature: A Sketchbook for Artists, Designers, and Doodlers, and eyed some of pages. There were NO instructions other than “Draw 20 trees” on the page. No step-by-step, nothing. I took that in, and stared at the examples they had given. There were more than trees. I started with mushrooms, there will be time for drawing trees later.

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When Dave arrived home I showed him some of the mushroom drawings and pointed to one and said its name – so I’m guessing they were recognizable!

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These forays into drawing, doodling…art – they are beginning to print on my brain the basic compositions. First a rectangle with soft, rounded edges – then a wide, shallow circle for the mushroom’s cap. I’m still just repeating what I see already printed on the page. Angles, depth, these are difficult, if not impossible.

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I struggle with them. Mainly because it seems as if I am weaving a spell. This is an arcane act to me, full of mystery. Inside my head, the questioning voice keeps up a nervous rattle, You aren’t supposed to know this. Remember, you can’t draw!

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It’s nearly 40 years of negative affirmations set on their heads.

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I can’t help but think that homeschooling is related to this. That I am learning this creative act in order that I might be a better teacher.

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That in re-discovering an ability, one I had convinced myself was lost forever (or nonexistent to begin with), there is a lesson to be shared.

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That we can do so much more than we think we can.

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That we can grow so much further than we ever expected.

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That our skins stretch, our brains absorb, and we are genius in the making.

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Each of us, so filled with potential for MORE.

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That our children can learn without the need for structure, or neatly delivered curriculum.

How is that, in becoming my child’s teacher, I am reborn a student?

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