Years ago I picked up a stack of Time for Kids books on a variety of historical subjects. They have sat on my homeschool shelf and been mainly ignored.
I pulled them out the other day, some 20, perhaps more, and took them downstairs. “Dad, I’m going to put these on your bedside table and I’m going to ask Em to read them out loud to you as part of her homeschool each day.”
He nodded and I took a few moments to show Em. They started on The Berlin Airlift yesterday and today she read several pages of it. The books aren’t long, perhaps 10 pages in all. As she read, I tidied up and dusted, moving through the rooms listening.
Later, as we drove to LEARN co-op I brought it up.
“The story of the Berlin Airlift is fascinating. I didn’t know any of that history. But it makes me remember when the Berlin Wall came down in the late 80s. I can see why the wall was built, and why the German people wanted it to come down and the sides to be reunified again.”
Em nodded and then said, “Gramps corrects my words when I mispronounce them.”
“I noticed that. I guess that’s where I get that habit.”
“I don’t like it.”
“He’s trying to help you, Sweetheart.”
“We are taking care of him, though.”
“Relationships go both ways. Gramps is having nearly all of his needs cared for by us. I help him get dressed. I bathe him, cook and clean up after him. But we all want our place in the family. Even you want to feel helpful, right? You help check his glucose levels, fetch and carry things. He needs to feel useful too, like he is contributing. And Gramps knows stuff. When you read to him, he can tell you stories that will add to what you are reading and learning.”
She sighed. “But he’s annoying, Mama.”
“He’s annoying because you aren’t used to him. Be patient, be kind, and be firm. It is up to you to define your own relationship with him, but this is an opportunity for us all. Be open to that.”
In my wildest dreams (or nightmares) I could not have imagined this scenario happening to me and my family. That said, my dad presence in our lives, while annoying and stressful at times, is a reality. I’m determined to make the best of it.